There was a point in my life about 10 years ago in my early 20’s where I went to bed every night and cried myself to sleep because my then partner would come home drunk and continue drinking. He would start fights and they would always end with him telling me that I wasn’t “special” and that I was nothing.
After the back and fourth of yelling and me defending myself I would submit and try to go to sleep because it was always late at night and I either had college or work the next morning, but the tears would stream down my cheeks as I tried to fall asleep using a pillow over my ears to mask and block out the constant insults. As my eyes stung the words echoed in my mind on replay – “You’re not worthy of love and you never will be”. Ever since I was a kid I felt this from time to time and he reinforced it.
Along with my childhood pain and this highly abusive relationship, my self worth was shattered into a million pieces. If I had any shred of confidence then, this phase of my life snatched away every last bit of it. I felt empty, unloved, and worthless. It felt that no matter how hard I tried, no matter the lengths I went to please others, it was never enough-I was never enough.
Even after I finally had the courage to leave that relationship, those self limiting beliefs still lingered with me, like a little voice in the back of my mind reminding me over and over that I didn’t deserve love. Despite the trauma I managed to get myself back into a place where I started to feel okay again. Still, when you feel empty, less than, not whole you will do anything to fill those holes-This lead to toxic relationships and even friendships and suffice to say substance abuse for a period.
A little later on my life slowly started improving over the years- Or so I thought. In reality I was repeating a pattern that was keeping me hostage in this cyclical detrimental mentality that only continued to bleed through in my healthy relationships and even my career. Something had to change-So I made the biggest shift of my life, I began practicing real self love for the very first time.
I started to realize that throughout the years this belief of myself kept coming up, even when I was so happy and content with my life there would be this nagging belief pulling me back down. The belief that I wasn’t deserving of love and I would never be enough.
It wasn’t until the deep healing within me began to take place that I started to see clearly where these deep seeded beliefs had truly come from.
The repeated trauma had engrained this distorted thinking into my very being. With continued personal development, counselling, inner child work, meditation and coaching I began to pave the way toward accepting this view of myself as untrue, but I needed to learn how to renew this unfamiliar perspective of myself.
Once I started to feel my truth, I kept feeling a pull to go even deeper to once and for all rewire my limiting beliefs. It was through finding the right coaches to connect with that I was able to open myself up and dig into the deepest parts of my ego and soul to begin to let these beliefs go.
With consistent coaching and the valuable tools I gained from coaching some being affirmations, daily gratitude, journaling and meditation these limiting beliefs finally began to fade away and I started to search for even more ways to heal myself from within because healing became a continuous journey for me.
In my ongoing search for deeper healing I felt a yearning inside of me that was calling to me-My purpose, my very reason for being on this earth. I was always compelled to help people, but it became clear that coaching was my vessel.
My mess became my message as I was opening up to the world and sharing my story for the first time ever. Even before I became a certified and accredited coach I still continued to share my message, the knowledge gained and give people that space where they felt seen and heard.
Those limiting beliefs that I had clung onto to for so long were no longer my enemies, they were my teachers, my guides pointing me towards that pull to help heal other women in the way that I had been healed.
The awareness and clarity in myself and my dreams I have experienced from this work has been transcendent. My authentic self shines through without fear of judgement or a lack mindset and I wake each morning with purpose in my heart.
I lead with my intuition and my relationships with those that I love have become stronger, deeper and more aligned. Goals that were once only in my imagination have manifested at my fingertips. The transformation I have experienced has delved so deep and I’ve only just scratched the surface.
True healing has to begin with you. The strength and courage inside of you is waiting to be released so you can rise up and step into your power.
I help women just like you create deep healing with lasting clarity. Whenever you’re wanting to learn more, you can book a no pressure, no strings attached call with me.
If you’re in the thick of this, you’re not broken, You’re becoming. ð–¹
I invite you to share any comments or stories about your own limiting beliefs or even ask any questions that may be rising in you.
Looking to rewrite your own self-limiting beliefs?
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Tru Balance Coaching helps you heal, grow, and find clarity through compassionate, trauma-informed support.
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